1 00:00:01,148 --> 00:00:03,183 I'm so exhausted. 2 00:00:03,217 --> 00:00:04,316 Today on the treadmill, 3 00:00:04,351 --> 00:00:07,286 I actually fell asleep for a quarter mile. 4 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,355 You were talking in your sleep again last night. 5 00:00:09,389 --> 00:00:12,758 Yeah, it's these new meds. Why can't they have cool side effects? 6 00:00:12,792 --> 00:00:15,827 - What would be a cool side effect? - I don't know. Anything Aquaman does. 7 00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:18,330 Oh, you're wearing that t-shirt. 8 00:00:18,365 --> 00:00:20,265 I thought you were gonna swap it out for a nightie, 9 00:00:20,299 --> 00:00:22,767 - something tight. - That's so complicated. 10 00:00:22,801 --> 00:00:24,769 It's hard tell what's the front and what's the back, 11 00:00:24,803 --> 00:00:26,604 where everything is so clear about this shirt. 12 00:00:26,638 --> 00:00:28,072 My head goes here; my arms go here... 13 00:00:28,107 --> 00:00:30,408 And you wipe your hands here, which is hot. 14 00:00:30,442 --> 00:00:32,810 Clean hands are hot. 15 00:00:34,613 --> 00:00:37,647 - Parents, we need to talk. - Talk or knock? 16 00:00:37,681 --> 00:00:40,984 I have someone coming over tomorrow, and not that it should matter, 17 00:00:41,019 --> 00:00:43,287 but this someone happens to be a lesbian. 18 00:00:43,321 --> 00:00:47,824 Reese is new at school, and she needs me as a friend. 19 00:00:47,858 --> 00:00:50,827 I'm kind of known for having a diverse crew 20 00:00:50,861 --> 00:00:52,828 that doesn't pigeonhole people, 21 00:00:52,862 --> 00:00:54,863 unlike the jocks, the drama nerds, the mean girls, 22 00:00:54,898 --> 00:00:56,198 the freaks with the weird... 23 00:00:56,233 --> 00:00:58,434 I really don't want you guys to blow this for me. 24 00:00:58,468 --> 00:01:02,371 - So that means no lesbian jokes. - I don't think I know a lesbian joke. 25 00:01:02,406 --> 00:01:04,173 I know one lesbian joke, but I don't get it. 26 00:01:04,207 --> 00:01:07,609 Well, I know, let's get eve's lesbian friend to explain it to us. 27 00:01:10,746 --> 00:01:13,514 Are you guys online? I can't seem to get on the internet. 28 00:01:13,549 --> 00:01:14,950 Yeah, we're downloading Quicken. 29 00:01:14,984 --> 00:01:17,819 Ha-ha-ha-ha, great computer joke. Somebody call Dilbert. 30 00:01:17,853 --> 00:01:19,620 It's like, I don't even know why I come in here. 31 00:01:19,655 --> 00:01:20,515 - Neither do I. - What? 32 00:01:20,516 --> 00:01:21,859 Get out now. 33 00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:23,483 This door is locked. No one comes in or out. 34 00:01:23,659 --> 00:01:26,560 It's just I'm fading fast. So how about just top stuff. 35 00:01:26,594 --> 00:01:28,628 I'll take it. 36 00:01:28,663 --> 00:01:31,398 - How's this? - Stop tickling my feet. 37 00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:34,035 I'm nowhere near your feet, honey. 38 00:01:34,369 --> 00:01:37,237 - What's "top stuff?" - I honestly don't even know anymore. 39 00:01:41,875 --> 00:01:43,742 Okay, that's it. We're officially out of kids. 40 00:01:45,912 --> 00:01:47,546 Oh, come on. 41 00:01:47,581 --> 00:01:50,749 The upstairs neighbor thinks we want to hear his TV again. 42 00:01:50,784 --> 00:01:52,618 Okay, I'm gonna go up there. 43 00:01:52,652 --> 00:01:55,188 Probably some old guy with a hearing aid. 44 00:01:55,222 --> 00:01:58,823 He'll recognize me from the news, I'll sign an autograph, 45 00:01:58,858 --> 00:02:02,427 and then I'll be right back down... and you're asleep. 46 00:02:02,462 --> 00:02:05,163 I bet this never happens to Aquaman. 47 00:02:05,198 --> 00:02:08,700 Excuse me. 48 00:02:08,734 --> 00:02:10,102 - Oh, sorry... uh... - Oh. 49 00:02:10,136 --> 00:02:14,438 Uh... you're not an old man. 50 00:02:15,876 --> 00:02:18,408 1x02 - Neighbour 51 00:02:19,465 --> 00:02:22,134 sync and correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~ 52 00:02:27,952 --> 00:02:31,287 - What exactly are we doing here? - I'm your downstairs neighbor. 53 00:02:31,322 --> 00:02:32,489 - Oh, hey. - So first of all... 54 00:02:32,523 --> 00:02:35,191 welcome to the building. Lovely to have you. 55 00:02:35,226 --> 00:02:37,127 Second of all, and this is dumb and so stupid. 56 00:02:37,161 --> 00:02:38,428 I feel funny even mentioning it, 57 00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:42,465 - but your TV is just a skosh loud... - Oh, my god. 58 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:45,600 Oh, okay. You know what? I'm gonna turn it down. 59 00:02:45,635 --> 00:02:46,735 Come on in. 60 00:02:48,304 --> 00:02:51,173 - Okay, I'm allowed to do this. - I had it turned up 61 00:02:51,207 --> 00:02:53,642 because I was baking cookies in the kitchen. 62 00:02:53,676 --> 00:02:56,378 I've gotten back into baking since my divorce. 63 00:02:56,413 --> 00:02:58,113 My ex didn't like cookies. 64 00:02:58,148 --> 00:03:00,915 Actually, the only thing he hated more than cookies 65 00:03:00,949 --> 00:03:04,752 was not sleeping with baristas. 66 00:03:04,786 --> 00:03:08,489 I don't know why I'm telling you this. I'm Kelly, by the way. 67 00:03:08,524 --> 00:03:11,426 - Do I know you from somewhere? - Does this ring a bell? 68 00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:12,993 Stay informed, New York. 69 00:03:13,028 --> 00:03:14,628 - No. - I'm Mike Henry. 70 00:03:14,663 --> 00:03:17,497 I'm a newscaster, Channel 4... television. 71 00:03:17,532 --> 00:03:18,731 I know where I know you from. 72 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:21,868 I used to see you at the starbucks on 86th street. 73 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,904 You're the guy with those piercing blue eyes. 74 00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:29,609 Well, I don't know if they pierce. They, uh... maybe poke a little. 75 00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:35,013 - You're funny too. - Oh, well... I should... 76 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,216 I should probably hit the old hallway. 77 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:40,619 Oh, wait. You know what? Before you go, I need a taster. 78 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:43,622 Now, I might have gone a little bit heavy with the vanilla, 79 00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:47,359 and I definitely forgot to turn on the oven. 80 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,327 Okay, I'm a mess. 81 00:03:49,361 --> 00:03:51,996 You know what? Just lick this. 82 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 83 00:03:59,738 --> 00:04:01,606 Oh, wow. That's chocolate chip, right? 84 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,641 I mean, I didn't get one, but-but-but I... 85 00:04:03,675 --> 00:04:06,176 I can taste them. That's... that all checks out. 86 00:04:06,211 --> 00:04:09,480 I-I-I should go. Um, thank you. 87 00:04:12,016 --> 00:04:14,050 Stay informed. 88 00:04:14,085 --> 00:04:15,819 Those are good. 89 00:04:15,853 --> 00:04:19,490 Ugh, I'm so behind on this article for Us Weekly. 90 00:04:19,524 --> 00:04:22,958 If it was called "Us Monthly," I'd have more time. 91 00:04:22,993 --> 00:04:26,028 - Us Monthly? Is that a new magazine? - What? No. 92 00:04:26,062 --> 00:04:28,864 - Are you even listening? - Crunchy? Swing and a miss, Mom. 93 00:04:28,898 --> 00:04:32,901 Hey, that's a school lunch for my son who goes to school... 94 00:04:32,936 --> 00:04:36,138 - Okay, where was I? - Uh... wrapping up. 95 00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:38,340 I like talking to Annie, 'cause she's a good listener, 96 00:04:38,374 --> 00:04:41,842 but I feel like she hasn't really been there for me since... 97 00:04:43,546 --> 00:04:44,879 How old is Ian again? 98 00:04:44,913 --> 00:04:46,848 I know you're too busy to hear my troubles. 99 00:04:46,882 --> 00:04:49,518 I guess it's hard for you to imagine what it's like 100 00:04:49,552 --> 00:04:51,786 to be a single woman freelancing in this dirty town 101 00:04:51,820 --> 00:04:53,720 trying to laugh and love my way through my 30s. 102 00:04:53,755 --> 00:04:55,922 Okay, Caroline in the City, I'm gonna give you that one 103 00:04:55,957 --> 00:04:57,724 because you promised to watch Graham today. 104 00:04:57,759 --> 00:05:00,461 Anything to get me away from this laptop. 105 00:05:00,995 --> 00:05:02,663 Sandwiches for breakfast? 106 00:05:02,697 --> 00:05:05,065 They're not for breakfast. They're not for you! 107 00:05:05,099 --> 00:05:08,180 Really? We don't own one Melissa Etheridge CD? 108 00:05:08,602 --> 00:05:10,903 Well, I guess it's Obama's America everywhere but here. 109 00:05:10,937 --> 00:05:12,738 - We have two K.D. Lang CDs. - Who's he? 110 00:05:12,773 --> 00:05:14,440 Oh, honey, you've got to do your research. 111 00:05:14,475 --> 00:05:15,941 You have a lesbian coming over. 112 00:05:17,944 --> 00:05:19,212 Oh, PBandJ. 113 00:05:19,246 --> 00:05:22,114 - Crunchy. - Okay, stop eating it. 114 00:05:22,149 --> 00:05:24,716 Honey, thank you so much for getting the neighbor 115 00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:27,653 to turn down his TV last night. What's he like? 116 00:05:27,687 --> 00:05:31,056 Um, neighborly. 117 00:05:31,090 --> 00:05:35,224 Just an average neighbor. Standard face and body. 118 00:05:35,395 --> 00:05:37,462 She... and she was a "she", by the way. 119 00:05:37,497 --> 00:05:41,332 She was otherwise totally forgettable. 120 00:05:41,366 --> 00:05:46,588 Oh, crunchy. You did it again, honey. 121 00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:49,907 - No sandwich? - We're out of bread. 122 00:05:53,011 --> 00:05:55,145 Sweetie, that kid stuff's terrible. 123 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,747 Use mine sunscreen. It's French. 124 00:05:57,781 --> 00:05:59,616 I don't know what the current exchange rate is, 125 00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,351 but it's definitely worth it. 126 00:06:01,385 --> 00:06:04,921 And it exploded everywhere. 127 00:06:04,955 --> 00:06:08,091 There goes $33 to $45. 128 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:09,626 This day just keeps getting better. 129 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,794 It's okay. You've got a lot going on. 130 00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:14,963 Thank you. I do have a lot going on. 131 00:06:14,997 --> 00:06:17,266 I was just trying to explain this to my sister-in-law, 132 00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:19,601 - but she doesn't get it. - Well, I think you are 133 00:06:19,602 --> 00:06:22,137 doing the most important job in the world. 134 00:06:22,171 --> 00:06:24,005 Well, it's definitely up there. 135 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,708 And I've done it with no help from anyone. 136 00:06:25,742 --> 00:06:28,309 - Well, what about the boy's father? - Mike's no help. 137 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,077 He gives me zero support. 138 00:06:30,112 --> 00:06:33,147 Single mothers are amazing. You're a hero. 139 00:06:33,181 --> 00:06:37,385 Oh, no. I'm not a... 140 00:06:37,419 --> 00:06:42,056 hero. I'm just doing what any other single mother would. 141 00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:45,925 - But enough about me. - Don't be silly. We're here for you. 142 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,629 I do suppose I could vent a little. 143 00:06:48,663 --> 00:06:50,497 If you don't mind turning off your cell phone, 144 00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:52,065 I'd really appreciate it. 145 00:06:53,501 --> 00:06:55,535 I don't know why people are so down on the WNBA. 146 00:06:55,570 --> 00:06:57,371 - Are they? - No, and they shouldn't be. 147 00:06:57,405 --> 00:07:00,173 I mean, I think it's even better than real basketball. 148 00:07:00,207 --> 00:07:02,408 I mean, normal bask... 149 00:07:02,442 --> 00:07:06,211 I mean, who wants to watch a bunch of sweaty guys anyway, right? 150 00:07:06,246 --> 00:07:07,280 What happened to my leftover chick-fil-a? 151 00:07:07,314 --> 00:07:08,648 I left it in the fridge. 152 00:07:08,682 --> 00:07:11,450 Some super tolerant person probably threw it in the trash 153 00:07:11,485 --> 00:07:13,653 because that company is all about hate. 154 00:07:13,687 --> 00:07:16,354 Yeah, hating dry, flavorless chicken. 155 00:07:16,389 --> 00:07:18,723 - 'Sup. I'm Ian. - Reese. 156 00:07:18,758 --> 00:07:21,660 - Like the pieces. - Uh, he's supposed to be in college. 157 00:07:21,694 --> 00:07:24,462 But I left to start up my own start... up. 158 00:07:24,497 --> 00:07:26,798 - Like the social network. - Exactly. 159 00:07:26,832 --> 00:07:28,366 Who do you want to play you in the movie? 160 00:07:28,401 --> 00:07:30,502 Okay, time's up. 161 00:07:30,536 --> 00:07:32,270 She's cute. What's her deal? 162 00:07:32,304 --> 00:07:34,338 Trust me. She's not interested. 163 00:07:34,372 --> 00:07:36,740 I don't know. I was feeling a vibe. 164 00:07:36,775 --> 00:07:39,009 Whoa, seriously, did you throw out my chick-fil-a? 165 00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:42,112 Recently? Is it on the top? 166 00:07:42,146 --> 00:07:45,749 Honey. We have the whole place to ourselves. 167 00:07:45,784 --> 00:07:48,218 And I got us some coffee so we can stay awake. 168 00:07:48,252 --> 00:07:49,819 Dark roast, if you know what I'm saying. 169 00:07:49,853 --> 00:07:51,821 I can't stop thinkin about our neighbor. 170 00:07:51,855 --> 00:07:54,056 You know, the plain, forgettable one? 171 00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:56,892 Oh, wait, yeah, right, the one with the loud TV. 172 00:07:56,927 --> 00:07:58,928 I feel bad, like we got off on the wrong foot. 173 00:07:58,962 --> 00:08:02,998 And I was thinking I should go upstairs and apologize... 174 00:08:03,033 --> 00:08:04,366 Hey, Mike. 175 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,836 But then she decided to come down here instead. 176 00:08:09,339 --> 00:08:10,505 Coffee? 177 00:08:11,935 --> 00:08:14,203 I should be going. I just wanted to drop these off. 178 00:08:14,237 --> 00:08:16,172 Turns out that if you actually turn on the oven, 179 00:08:16,206 --> 00:08:18,573 you get cookies. And the best part is, 180 00:08:18,607 --> 00:08:20,308 you don't have to lick them off a spoon. 181 00:08:22,611 --> 00:08:24,712 Great nonsense talk. Really silly stuff. 182 00:08:24,746 --> 00:08:28,048 - Well... thanks for coming by. - It was so nice to meet you, Kelly. 183 00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:31,085 You too. It'll be so awesome to have a nice, 184 00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:33,854 - cool friend in the building. - Yeah. 185 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,756 Shame on Mike for not mentioning you. 186 00:08:36,790 --> 00:08:39,492 Okay, good hang. Keep the TV down. 187 00:08:39,527 --> 00:08:40,793 - Bye. - Bye. 188 00:08:43,997 --> 00:08:45,565 Well, she looked different last night. 189 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,867 I mean, you know, the light in here must be very flattering, 190 00:08:47,901 --> 00:08:50,136 which a credit to you, because you look great in any light. 191 00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:52,605 Maybe you were so busy licking her spoon 192 00:08:52,639 --> 00:08:54,206 that you couldn't get a good look. 193 00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:56,975 That was a pity lick. She needed a win. 194 00:08:57,009 --> 00:08:59,211 You know, if I didn't know any better, 195 00:08:59,246 --> 00:09:01,780 I'd say that you have a little crush, Mike. 196 00:09:01,814 --> 00:09:03,014 I don't have a crush. 197 00:09:03,049 --> 00:09:06,317 Honestly, I had completely forgotten about her. 198 00:09:06,352 --> 00:09:08,986 Oh, Kelly. 199 00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:12,523 Kelly, no, we can't. It's wrong. 200 00:09:12,558 --> 00:09:14,191 - Okay. - Okay, wait. Wake up. 201 00:09:14,226 --> 00:09:16,594 - Mike, wake up. - Wh-what? 202 00:09:16,629 --> 00:09:17,795 You hit me. Did you hit me? 203 00:09:17,829 --> 00:09:19,897 You were talking in your sleep about Kelly. 204 00:09:19,931 --> 00:09:22,399 Sounds like you put up quite a struggle... 205 00:09:22,433 --> 00:09:24,934 right up until you immediately had sex with her. 206 00:09:24,969 --> 00:09:26,670 You know, these meds give me crazy dreams. 207 00:09:26,704 --> 00:09:29,939 I get it. She's cute, she's funny, 208 00:09:29,974 --> 00:09:31,441 a bit of a heavy hand with the vanilla, 209 00:09:31,476 --> 00:09:34,711 but just admit that you are attracted to her. 210 00:09:34,746 --> 00:09:36,580 Well, I suppose if you were attracted to a guy, 211 00:09:36,614 --> 00:09:37,714 you'd just put that out there? 212 00:09:37,749 --> 00:09:40,182 Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, 213 00:09:40,216 --> 00:09:42,385 the Wahlbergs, pretty much whole Boston scene. 214 00:09:42,419 --> 00:09:43,719 - Okay, enough. - Mike, come on. 215 00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:45,488 I just want you to be honest with me. 216 00:09:45,522 --> 00:09:47,540 I am being honest with you. 217 00:09:47,541 --> 00:09:49,558 I'm not attracted to Kelly. 218 00:09:49,593 --> 00:09:52,444 Fine. You dream about whatever you 219 00:09:52,445 --> 00:09:55,397 want to dream about, okay? I'm gonna get some sleep. 220 00:10:00,803 --> 00:10:02,103 Oh, Annie... 221 00:10:02,137 --> 00:10:06,808 Annie, you're so beautiful and sexy and smart. 222 00:10:06,842 --> 00:10:09,678 - You're the whole package. - Okay, just so you know, 223 00:10:09,712 --> 00:10:11,946 when you asleep, you don't shake. 224 00:10:11,980 --> 00:10:14,581 And also, you don't talk like a ghost. 225 00:10:14,616 --> 00:10:17,681 I can't hear yoooouu. 226 00:10:18,486 --> 00:10:19,821 Ooooh. 227 00:10:19,855 --> 00:10:22,756 So Mike had a sexy dream about another woman. 228 00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:25,827 It just annoys me that Mike won't be honest. 229 00:10:25,861 --> 00:10:28,428 If he were really being honest, he'd tell you to burn that shirt. 230 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,230 What does everybody have against this shirt? 231 00:10:30,264 --> 00:10:32,199 I've seen you polish silver with that. 232 00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:35,368 I'm just saying maybe you could step up your game a little. 233 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:41,540 You're right. I missed a spot. 234 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,944 So remember, we're going for an outfit that says, 235 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,645 "I'm cool with alternative lifestyles." 236 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,749 So is the lovely Reese coming today? 237 00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:52,952 I don't want to waste my Axe body spray on just family. 238 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:56,055 You're barking up the wrong tree. This tree is a lesbian. 239 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,290 If Reese is a lesbian, then I must be a pretty lady, 240 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,892 because she's definitely into me. So am I Axe-ing or not? 241 00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:02,093 - Axe-ing. - Not. 242 00:11:02,127 --> 00:11:03,528 I'm never bringing Reese back here. 243 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,630 This place is a minefield of embarrassment. 244 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,099 - We're going to JJ's funcade. - J to the Js. 245 00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:09,534 Food and games. Love that place. 246 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:12,036 - Me too. - There's my little Graham cracker. 247 00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:14,939 Red shoes, brown pants, and yellow sweater? 248 00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,974 You trying to look like a hamburger? 249 00:11:17,008 --> 00:11:19,844 I had such a good time watching you the other day, bud. 250 00:11:19,878 --> 00:11:21,945 I told your folks I'd take you to the park again. 251 00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:23,881 Okay, I just wanted to hang with those moms again. 252 00:11:23,915 --> 00:11:27,785 It felt nice to be around people who appreciate what I do, 253 00:11:27,819 --> 00:11:30,454 Even if it's just something I pretend to do. 254 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:35,425 - Let's go to JJ's funcade instead. - The park is nature's funcade. 255 00:11:35,459 --> 00:11:38,327 - The park doesn't have prizes. - Well, that's where you're wrong. 256 00:11:38,362 --> 00:11:41,664 If we go to the park, you win a soda. 257 00:11:41,699 --> 00:11:45,034 I like soda. Can I drink it through a twizzler? 258 00:11:45,068 --> 00:11:46,636 Half a twizzler. 259 00:11:46,670 --> 00:11:48,837 I feel like I'd make a good mom. 260 00:11:48,872 --> 00:11:52,408 And now just because I had a dream about her... 261 00:11:52,442 --> 00:11:54,009 and didn't tell her I was married... 262 00:11:54,043 --> 00:11:57,178 and licked a few spoons, Annie thinks I'm into her. 263 00:11:57,213 --> 00:11:58,647 Women. 264 00:11:58,681 --> 00:12:01,683 Always jumping to conclusions based on overwhelming evidence. 265 00:12:02,685 --> 00:12:06,086 I got it. I got it. We'll double date. 266 00:12:06,121 --> 00:12:08,088 I'll set you up with Kelly, and then Annie will know 267 00:12:08,123 --> 00:12:09,624 that I don't find her attractive. 268 00:12:09,658 --> 00:12:11,959 Oh, hold on. She's not attractive? 269 00:12:11,993 --> 00:12:13,895 You're trying to set me up with a jacked-up woman? 270 00:12:13,929 --> 00:12:15,296 Uh-uh. Oh, no. 271 00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:17,498 Word gets around town that I've lowered my standards, 272 00:12:17,533 --> 00:12:20,233 my stock drops, ladies go, "Sell. Sell on Harris." 273 00:12:20,267 --> 00:12:21,668 That's just economics. 274 00:12:21,702 --> 00:12:25,138 Trust me. She's sufficiently jacked. She's jacked exquisitely. 275 00:12:25,172 --> 00:12:27,273 Just say you'll come to dinner. 276 00:12:27,308 --> 00:12:30,677 Okay, but she better look good, because you see all this? 277 00:12:30,711 --> 00:12:32,879 It's too big to fail. 278 00:12:35,149 --> 00:12:37,917 You think they can tell we're not working? 279 00:12:37,951 --> 00:12:40,753 Oh, my god. This place is ridiculous. 280 00:12:40,787 --> 00:12:43,622 - You know what we should do? - Pity the living? 281 00:12:43,657 --> 00:12:46,124 And... and we should tell the waiter that it's my birthday, 282 00:12:46,159 --> 00:12:49,595 and then they'll have to do that lame song for me. 283 00:12:49,629 --> 00:12:50,696 Is that your brother? 284 00:12:51,931 --> 00:12:53,130 Ian, what are you doing here? 285 00:12:53,165 --> 00:12:55,500 Oh, hey. Oh, I was just in the neighborhood. 286 00:12:55,534 --> 00:12:57,401 Thought I'd check out the old stomping grounds. 287 00:12:57,436 --> 00:12:59,571 Hey, check out this old girl. 288 00:12:59,605 --> 00:13:04,075 Wonder if she still dance, dances like she used to. 289 00:13:04,109 --> 00:13:06,177 No, no, no, no, no. Don't do this. 290 00:13:06,211 --> 00:13:08,979 I barely remember how to use this thing. 291 00:13:09,013 --> 00:13:10,581 Or do I totally remember? 292 00:13:22,293 --> 00:13:24,694 I'm so sorry. He's trying to show off 293 00:13:24,728 --> 00:13:26,662 because he has a stupid crush on you. 294 00:13:26,697 --> 00:13:31,000 That's okay. This is hilarious. 295 00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:34,303 - Yeah, totally. - It's, like, is the machine telling me 296 00:13:34,337 --> 00:13:36,171 what to do, or am I telling it? 297 00:13:38,557 --> 00:13:41,437 I just want to get this us weekly article right, 298 00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:42,672 because I'm going to be seeing it in my doctor's office 299 00:13:42,706 --> 00:13:44,039 for the next year and a half. 300 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:47,142 Speaking of, does anyone else have a super judge-y gyno? 301 00:13:47,335 --> 00:13:51,646 - Um, Leigh, is Graham okay? - I am forever! 302 00:13:51,681 --> 00:13:55,817 He's fine. He just had a few sodas and a couple twizzlers. 303 00:13:55,852 --> 00:13:57,886 Wow! That's a lot of sugar. 304 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,788 I feel like we're getting off track here. 305 00:13:59,822 --> 00:14:02,491 I never give Duncan anything processed. 306 00:14:02,525 --> 00:14:05,426 Pretty high almighty for a lady who named her son Duncan. 307 00:14:05,461 --> 00:14:08,061 You guys have really changed. 308 00:14:08,096 --> 00:14:12,633 Come on son, we're leaving. 309 00:14:12,701 --> 00:14:14,702 Graham, that's you! 310 00:14:14,769 --> 00:14:17,304 - Leigh, it's you! - Graham, slow down! 311 00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:20,154 I'm not wearing the right bra for this! 312 00:14:20,837 --> 00:14:24,443 - Have you seen Reese? - She's over there. 313 00:14:27,147 --> 00:14:28,648 Happy, happy birthday 314 00:14:28,682 --> 00:14:30,116 from JJ's funcade crew 315 00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:33,019 happy, happy birthday from all of us to you 316 00:14:33,053 --> 00:14:36,789 Oh. Oh, god. You are awful. 317 00:14:36,824 --> 00:14:39,525 We'd have a lot less dishes to do if you would just admit 318 00:14:39,559 --> 00:14:41,894 that you have a crush on Kelly. 319 00:14:41,928 --> 00:14:45,998 That's ridiculous. It's a legitimate double date. 320 00:14:46,032 --> 00:14:48,667 They do seem to be hitting it off. 321 00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:53,772 Yes, they do, don't they? 322 00:14:53,806 --> 00:14:56,040 - That was our thing. - What? 323 00:14:56,074 --> 00:14:58,029 Nothing. 324 00:14:58,410 --> 00:14:59,744 - Oh. - Bread time. 325 00:14:59,778 --> 00:15:03,714 Individual portions of bread that everyone can feed to themselves. 326 00:15:03,749 --> 00:15:04,982 Oops, Parkinson's. 327 00:15:08,153 --> 00:15:11,022 What? Parkinson's. 328 00:15:11,056 --> 00:15:13,990 Uh... 329 00:15:14,025 --> 00:15:15,692 Why were you making out with Ian? 330 00:15:15,726 --> 00:15:18,394 Oh, you saw that? I'm sorry. I know he's your brother, and... 331 00:15:18,429 --> 00:15:21,965 Yeah, and... brothers are guys. 332 00:15:21,999 --> 00:15:25,401 - You're a lesbian. - No, I'm not. 333 00:15:25,436 --> 00:15:27,470 - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure. 334 00:15:27,504 --> 00:15:29,171 But I heard that you kissed a girl at a party. 335 00:15:29,205 --> 00:15:31,674 Yeah, I did, but only 'cause guys love that. 336 00:15:32,742 --> 00:15:35,444 Hey, air swimmer clownfish. 337 00:15:35,478 --> 00:15:38,565 - No bigs. - I can't believe this. 338 00:15:41,484 --> 00:15:45,553 Let me get some more of that. Somehow yours just seems better. 339 00:15:45,588 --> 00:15:48,823 So you guys have been friends forever. 340 00:15:48,857 --> 00:15:51,258 Oh, yeah, ever since we started out down in Orlando. 341 00:15:51,293 --> 00:15:54,095 Remember when we covered the... Governor's inauguration? 342 00:15:54,129 --> 00:15:55,997 Yeah, Mike camped out in the Governor's office 343 00:15:56,031 --> 00:15:57,565 and wouldn't leave until we got a quote. 344 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,633 And you got caught in the press room with that salsa dancer. 345 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,202 Or wait, no, that's wrong. It was a cocktail waitress. 346 00:16:02,236 --> 00:16:06,673 - It's hard to remember, I'm sure. - Yeah, because there's been so many. 347 00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:09,676 I was gonna say because it was such a long time ago. 348 00:16:09,711 --> 00:16:12,145 Everybody does crazy things when they're young. 349 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,446 But I'm a gentleman now. 350 00:16:13,481 --> 00:16:15,381 Well, I hope not too much of a gentleman. 351 00:16:15,416 --> 00:16:17,583 Didn't that cocktail waitress turn out to be a gentleman 352 00:16:17,618 --> 00:16:21,120 - in the end... and in the front? - What the hell are you doing? 353 00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,656 Just trying to be accurate. Who wants to see my Emmys? 354 00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:27,059 Don't get too excited. They're daytime Emmys. 355 00:16:27,094 --> 00:16:28,527 Just trying to be accurate. 356 00:16:30,897 --> 00:16:33,364 You're right, this place is better than the park. 357 00:16:33,398 --> 00:16:36,300 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have used you like I did. 358 00:16:36,335 --> 00:16:38,402 I guess it just felt nice to get a little validation 359 00:16:38,437 --> 00:16:42,223 out there, and look, i know there are harder things 360 00:16:42,224 --> 00:16:46,745 - than writing a 200-word article. - 200? That's so many words. 361 00:16:46,779 --> 00:16:50,147 Thank you. Finally someone in this family gets me. 362 00:16:50,181 --> 00:16:52,582 You know, I'm going to start coming to you with my problems. 363 00:16:52,617 --> 00:16:54,752 Would your son like a balloon? 364 00:16:54,786 --> 00:16:56,453 Oh, he's not my son. 365 00:16:56,487 --> 00:16:59,657 Oh, of course. You're too young to have a son his age. 366 00:16:59,691 --> 00:17:01,659 Text your mom to pick you up. 367 00:17:01,693 --> 00:17:04,927 - So how long have you worked here? - Oh, 13 years. 368 00:17:04,962 --> 00:17:07,563 Here I am with the children of the Grand Popo tribe. 369 00:17:07,597 --> 00:17:09,298 They wrote a song about me. 370 00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:12,802 - Wow. That's amazing, Mike. - It's really not that amazing. 371 00:17:12,836 --> 00:17:14,470 They sing that song to all the white people 372 00:17:14,504 --> 00:17:15,772 to convince them to buy scarves. 373 00:17:15,806 --> 00:17:19,008 - Still driving that $100,000 car, Harris? - Actually... 374 00:17:19,043 --> 00:17:20,241 Yeah, I remember when he first got that car. 375 00:17:20,276 --> 00:17:22,911 I remember thinking, "whoa, mid-life crisis comes early for Harris." 376 00:17:22,945 --> 00:17:24,612 Well, actually, not that early. 377 00:17:24,647 --> 00:17:26,815 You know, we might be friends, but I'll take you out. 378 00:17:26,849 --> 00:17:29,217 - It's not that hard. - Oh, hey, it's Leigh. 379 00:17:29,251 --> 00:17:31,653 I guess she wants us to pick up Graham at JJ's funcade. 380 00:17:31,688 --> 00:17:34,756 Well, sorry, guys. I guess we've got to call it a night. 381 00:17:34,791 --> 00:17:37,091 Well, Kelly and Harris don't have to call it a night. 382 00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:40,260 - I'm not going to say no to a drink. - Oh, you are my kind of guy. 383 00:17:40,295 --> 00:17:41,796 I know. Why don't we all go to JJ's? 384 00:17:41,830 --> 00:17:44,699 And we can play a little skee-ball and get some nachos for the big fella. 385 00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:47,768 - You better stop that. - You know, I think I better get going. 386 00:17:47,803 --> 00:17:50,771 I have an early morning tomorrow. Do you want to walk me up upstairs? 387 00:17:50,806 --> 00:17:52,405 Don't be silly. It's completely out of his way. 388 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:53,773 I'll walk you upstairs, 389 00:17:53,808 --> 00:17:56,142 and Annie and I will drop Harris off at home on our way. 390 00:17:56,177 --> 00:17:58,411 And then maybe we could stop by JJ's tomorrow. 391 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:02,515 - Mike, we need to pick up our son. - You're absolutely right, Annie. 392 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,851 You should take Kelly home and them come back 393 00:18:04,885 --> 00:18:07,153 and man the nerve center, and Harris and I will go get Graham. 394 00:18:07,188 --> 00:18:09,855 - I don't want to do that at all. - Here's an out-of-the-box idea. 395 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,107 Why doesn't nobody take Kelly home, 'cause she only lives 396 00:18:12,108 --> 00:18:14,326 one floor up, and it's a safe building. And she'll be fine. 397 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:16,962 Isn't that right, Annie? Annie? 398 00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,264 You know, I have some more spoons upstairs. 399 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,068 For the record, don't touch my belly. 400 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,903 Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going upstairs 401 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,844 to make love with my shirt on. 402 00:18:30,675 --> 00:18:32,483 Thank you for leaving me with that image. 403 00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:34,926 Annie, it's Mike again. Are you still here? 404 00:18:34,992 --> 00:18:37,198 'Cause I've been walking around for 20 minutes. 405 00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:39,112 I'm a sweaty guy lurking around an arcade. 406 00:18:39,146 --> 00:18:40,313 People are starting to think I'm a creep. 407 00:18:40,347 --> 00:18:42,415 Hey! Are you leaving? 408 00:18:42,449 --> 00:18:43,849 - Yeah. - You're seriously bailing? 409 00:18:43,883 --> 00:18:46,518 - Is this because Reese is into me? - That is mystifying. 410 00:18:46,552 --> 00:18:49,121 - Mm. - She just isn't who I thought she was. 411 00:18:49,155 --> 00:18:51,190 Who cares? So Reese isn't a lesbian. 412 00:18:51,224 --> 00:18:53,158 I'm sorry that's not a box you can check off 413 00:18:53,193 --> 00:18:56,361 - on your list of friends. - I like having friends who are unique. 414 00:18:56,395 --> 00:18:58,030 Yeah, so you can feel unique. 415 00:18:58,064 --> 00:19:01,232 Why not just have friends because they're your friends? 416 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:04,969 Annie. Annie, I know you're here somewhere. 417 00:19:05,003 --> 00:19:07,404 Look, you were right. I had a crush on Kelly. 418 00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:09,373 - Is that Dad? - I'm afraid so. 419 00:19:09,407 --> 00:19:11,042 She had these well-defined collarbones 420 00:19:11,076 --> 00:19:13,010 that could hold water in the rain. 421 00:19:13,045 --> 00:19:15,345 I didn't even know I was into that. 422 00:19:15,379 --> 00:19:17,714 But I never should have... 423 00:19:17,749 --> 00:19:19,549 licked the spoon. 424 00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:21,184 I got caught up in the moment. 425 00:19:21,219 --> 00:19:24,254 Why do I sound like this? What's happening to me? 426 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:27,224 Am I a robot? 427 00:19:27,258 --> 00:19:29,760 Oh, that's better. Where was I? 428 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:34,196 - Finished, hopefully. - Oh, wait. Annie, I'm sorry. 429 00:19:34,231 --> 00:19:36,932 Look, I just got started, and I couldn't stop. 430 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,768 Mike, I don't even care about that. 431 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:43,172 I mean, the collarbone thing was weird, but what got into you tonight? 432 00:19:44,674 --> 00:19:46,708 I'm sorry. I... 433 00:19:46,743 --> 00:19:49,310 I just... it wasn't even that I had a crush on Kelly. 434 00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:51,880 It was that Kelly had a crush on me. 435 00:19:53,249 --> 00:19:54,448 It's just nice to know after all that's happened 436 00:19:54,483 --> 00:19:59,487 - that women still find me attractive. - What about me? 437 00:19:59,521 --> 00:20:02,290 - I think you're attractive. - Oh, well, that doesn't count. 438 00:20:02,324 --> 00:20:03,523 I mean, what are you gonna do, 439 00:20:03,557 --> 00:20:05,325 leave the beloved newsman with Parkinson's? 440 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,094 Okay, if that's what you're worried about, 441 00:20:07,128 --> 00:20:09,329 I will leave you the minute your looks go. 442 00:20:09,363 --> 00:20:11,164 I'd appreciate that. Thank you. 443 00:20:11,198 --> 00:20:12,398 Look... hey, have you been wearing this all night? 444 00:20:12,432 --> 00:20:13,833 You look amazing. 445 00:20:13,867 --> 00:20:16,235 Yes, I've been trying to get you to notice all night. 446 00:20:16,270 --> 00:20:19,071 If I told you you were beautiful every time you looked beautiful, 447 00:20:19,106 --> 00:20:22,474 - I'd never have time for anything else. - That would be fine with me. 448 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,046 Sometimes in life, you get turned around 449 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,848 and forget who you really are. 450 00:20:29,882 --> 00:20:32,150 Sorry I thought you were a lesbian. 451 00:20:32,185 --> 00:20:35,086 That's okay. I thought you were too. 452 00:20:35,121 --> 00:20:37,155 Oh, boss! Are you guys gonna kiss?! 453 00:20:37,190 --> 00:20:40,625 Luckily, your family is there to remind you. 454 00:20:40,659 --> 00:20:43,227 They're the ones who challenge you 455 00:20:43,261 --> 00:20:44,528 and support you 456 00:20:44,562 --> 00:20:47,397 and love you no matter what. 457 00:20:47,432 --> 00:20:50,500 - Hey guys, guys... - What, sweetie? 458 00:20:50,535 --> 00:20:53,003 We lost Dad. 459 00:20:53,073 --> 00:20:55,472 Shh, shh. 460 00:20:57,342 --> 00:20:59,175 Mike, Mike. 461 00:21:02,112 --> 00:21:04,314 How did you find me? 462 00:21:04,348 --> 00:21:08,051 So if you want to drive with me, ride with me 463 00:21:08,085 --> 00:21:09,919 They're also the ones who will drive you crazy 464 00:21:09,954 --> 00:21:12,722 with remote control fish balloons. 465 00:21:12,756 --> 00:21:14,290 Ian, get that thing out of here! 466 00:21:14,325 --> 00:21:16,291 Come on and fly with me 467 00:21:16,326 --> 00:21:17,826 Ian... 468 00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:19,962 You got to roll with me 469 00:21:20,408 --> 00:21:23,476 sync and correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~ 470 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,138 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 471 00:21:27,188 --> 00:21:31,738 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0